My heart is heavy.
A dear friend has passed away today.

We have been praying with her in this difficult journey when she broke the news to us during our bi-weekly sisters sharing. It took me a while to take this in. We read everywhere of people who have cancer, people we do not know, or even people we know but not that close. And then it hit me, my friend, who is still so young, has cancer.

She has been sharing about trying for a baby prior to all this and was having problems doing so. At that point, it seemed that recovery is possible that she can still have a child in future. She adores children and Eliza, who doesn't warm up to people easily (that's when she's 2-3yrs old), once hung out with her in the sunday school room doing craft, just both of them. Wow, she managed to get Eliza to do that!

And then one bad news after another, then cancer spread to the bone, and brain etc. But everytime I see her she's so cheerful, so humble, so welcoming. Never a word of complaint. Maybe in her private times she has had her struggles and tears, uncertainties and regret. But she always asked of me, of Eliza and Emily. Even when we moved to another country far away, we have communicated via whatsapp and she always asking how i am and how their girls are and that she misses them so much.

Everytime i ask her how she is and how she's taking the chemo etc, she'll always reply in thanksgiving to God. She'll always worry about her parents worrying about her and know that they may not take the news well too. In one of her replies to me, she has said that God has been wonderful to her, giving her a peaceful mind to handle all this.

I know she is with the Lord, she is painfree and in peace. Still it doesn't take away the sadness of losing such a kind and endearing friend. It must be loads more difficult for her husband who has been such a wonderful source of strength for her and has always been with her as much as he can, insisting he drive her to her to the hospital even when he has work and her mum/mil can go with her.

Losing a loved one is never ever easy. I know one day it will come. Just not so fast please.