unbloggy

it's been quite a while since i've blogged and i can't remember what has happened in between. whops. now we're preparing for cny and i'm sorting all my mess and organizing things and by this friday to clean up, decorate and sort out our house...(it's new but still dust has not spared us, few days of neglect on any horizontal surface breeds new colony of dust)

oh quite a bit happened since then anyway, celebrated 2 family birthdays, my mum's and meimei one (both fall on jan) and many other friends and colleagues ones. then a few events, out running around with my buddy..and just over the weekend my cell had a retreat at batam which left some of us with quite a tan (not frm deliberate sun-tanning but while we were searching for that go-cart place which the hotel staff told us was just a 5 min walk...oh we took abt 20mins in the 1pm sun). so lots of scorching sun, some splashes in the pool, go-carting, seafood somewhere far, cell time, personal retreat time (within our 3hr bfast at the hotel), some shopping, ministry at the church there and home. seems like just a short time yet so long...but it was a good time to get out of SG and spend time together.

this was our trek in search for the go-cart...now there were 5 of us only, who did we get to take this photo? (esp when the place was like a ghost town at that hour)

sea food place by the sea!

Delirious

I feel delirious.

"in an acutely disturbed state of mind resulting from illness or intoxication and characterized by restlessness, illusions, and incoherence of thought and speech" ~ Webster dictionary
or
"in a state of wild excitement or estacy" ~ Webster dictionary

i think i take the 2nd meaning

when your hopes are hoped.
when the unexpected is good.
gonna miss my buddy though

and my buddy went to queue up for the famed Donut factory this time. i accompanied her till 6pm cos i had tuition. but she took 2 times the time i took. 4.5hrs! yeah...she said it was the craziest thing she did so far. and with all the efforts...i of cos i asked her to buy a dozen for me too. will get to see it later!! and gonna share some with my mil...who's making kueh lapis (she makes the most sinful and delicious ones) and share some with my sis if its not gone by the time she reaches it.

jumbled up thoughts

there were many things to ponder about this week. some things came without my knowing and left me in a jumble. had things to consider and decide.

one of the things was a call at 825am that woke me up from my morning snoozing (had tried to wake up since 7am but unsucessful till this call). it was a call that was completely unexpected and almost forgotten. it's really exciting actually. but not after i have made some decisions and feel bad that i could possibly retract what i have earlier decided. yet it's not something i can be sure about. it's only 1/3 the battle won. then the other step is tmr. and then another 2 gruelling weeks of wait before i get an answer. and as much as i hope for a yes for an answer i'm not sure of my stand for this 2 weeks of wait. where should i pledge allegience to? what if i hope so much for it and got rejected? to be able to get there is almost a dream, it's exciting but i feel bad should i go and leave responsibilites behind. argh. decisions decisions.

and we splurged a lil on our dinner today at coffee bean, i 'needed' to buy shoes for tmr, and ironing board (still in a search after ikea disppointed me by making me go all the way there only to find that the $7.90 one is out of stock!), and Ww's stuff for school.

we talked about this book ($36 for a hardback small book!) by Parker J. Palmer "Let yout life speak. Listening for the voice of Vocation". really good book anway. though we've only read the first few pages so far. i'm still trying to digest what i've read so far...
"Vocation does not come from willfulness. It comes from listening. I nust listen to my life and try to understand what it is truly about - quite apart from what i would like it to be about - or my life will never represent anything real in the world, no matter how earnest my intensions."

people my age are pursuing careers, trying to get married or getting married, finishing their studies, desiring to enjoy the luxuries of a more affluent life with their income and whatsoever. so what was i doing? sometimes i find myself taking quite a weird path from architecture to tuition to inteior design. sometimes i ask myself what's up with me? but life takes different turns and i thank God for these different turns, though sometimes i wondered if i should have made the decision i made then. if only i have stayed. what do i desire? honestly i half don't care about advancing up the corporate ladder, yet sometimes it matters because of the status, the sense of achievement and the salary. but when i step back, i see that this isn't what it is about. it shouldn't be. there is a certain standard route for people like me...finish studies, start working and if you're dating, get married and all those stuff; if you're not find someone or con't to enjoy singlehood; do something fulfilling with your work/career... i don't know what to make out of what i'm saying here anyway maybe coz it's really late and i should be sleeping but i'm just rattling on because i read too much other friends' friends blogs. but there is more to life than this. i know. yet i admit a certain desire to also live the luxurious life, (not a tai-tai life la) but going for some goals in life - holiday trips every year, new wardrobe, a car, a new phone, new camera, designer condo, go for spa, shop shop shop, indulge in the good things essentially. meanwhile we'll sacrifice this for the more meaningful things...because i shouldn't harp on the money issue because i don't feel i earn enough and the expenses (bills, insurances, installments, minor spendings, tv license tax, family dinners and presents, household essentials etc) is rolling in faster than we can say supercalifragelistaspialgotious. but that's ok...i know i need to trust God enough, and that i'm learning about faith and life lessons in money management. God is my best teacher i and need to learn to listen to Him...and trash these things out with Him. i wish i can say i love what i do. i do sometimes but sometimes i don't too. if only things were easier...but God isn't God if He just throws me into nice bed of roses without thorns.

better sleep.

In a week

For dunno what reasons, i didn't feel too free this week even though i wasn't so busy. There was some work to do since CNY is coming soon and i've cleared my projects. So it's time to find prospective projects. some things have changed a bit in my work, to help me survive financially through this period, because i can't depend on an erratic flow of projects, and needed something more stable financially. as much as i wish money will pop out and appear in front of me, God's idea of teaching me to just have faith in Him to provide timely and to have wisdom in how i spend is much better.

my company is a great company with great colleagues and even though the work is tough and sometimes i feel like i have to be really independent, teaching myself and finding things to teach myself....till every project seems like an experimental experience, esp since my mentor is gone, gee..i learnt so much faster with him around. glad still hav my buddy around to share how our day went, rant about work, talk about life, lunch and just enjoy each other's company.

oh i'm gonna go learn to drive. :)
finally taking up my basic theory test again after 7 years (failed my test then for the simple reason that i didn't study, dumb rite?)

i love sundays :) though i'm always so sleepy in the mornings (because we wake up early early to go church esp when i have band prac) and sleepy in the afternoons, always craving for a nap, and weirdly it doesn't happen on other days.
and this week when we went over my in-laws place for dinner, the Ww's newphews were there! (we call them 'the boys' or 'zhuzhu-s'). missed them so much! they're always so cute, esp Augustine (which we think looks most like Ww of the 3 boys). this week they had their tricycles to show off and still bugging us to read books to them.


Alger boy has started to warm up to us. and since he has started to walk all around the house he seems happier to join his elder brothers in their play...and he started to happily say bye bye too..new stuff learnt!

Career vs Mission

we read this chapter of "The Incredible Journey of Faith" by Ray Pritchard and were really moved by God's truth in it.

as we ponder on my possibility to get a new job for more financial stability, and furthering his studies we were at the crossroads of our life. and when this question makes us think, think hard.

"Is your life a career or a mission?"

"There is a huge difference between living for your career and being sent on a mission. The Bible never talks about having a career. Having a career is not a biblical issue. Having a mission is."

"It's not that believers don't have careers. We do. ... But the difference is this: The people of the world live for their careers; the people of God don't."

so what is my mission in life?
i enjoy architecture and interior design and after all that, it's people that matters more to me. i always know i want to help people...i don't know how, i don't know with what, i don't know where. i wish i can do more.

"the question is not what are you doing for a living? The deeper issue is, what are you doing with your life? Why did God put you here on the earth?"

"Use the bigger position to impact the world for Jesus Christ.... Realize that God has put you where you are "for such a time as this" Understand that behind every open door and every promotion stands the Lord God who rules heaven and earth. As you climb to the top, remember who put you there."

if money is the issue, is the change of job with a higher and more stable pay the solution? God pls give me more faith. i need more faith. faith to believe that You will provide me with what's enough to live. that while there's so much bills to pay, faster than both of us can keep up with. i need more faith.

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." Jim Elliot

Doughnut factory!!

I'm mad. I never imagined i would line up 2hrs 15mins for this. doughnuts from Doughnut factory.


Actually i just wanted to buy 1. And i overheard an auntie behind be saying she lined up 1hr 20mins and gave up. so i thought i'll buy 6. and after 1 1/2 hrs i thought i had better buy 12 instead.
i just finished my interview and had time till i meet my buddy & her friend so i thought i could kill 1hr of time queueing for this.


so instead of going to airport after my tuition we enjoyed coffee & doughnuts at our balcony....shared some with my sis & gave 2 to her when she came by to pick up contact lens solution she kept forgetting to buy.

that's how we spent our anniversary...(and watched Catch Me If You Can).

Happy Anniversary to us

It's our 1yr 2mth wedding anniversary! Happy anniversary to us :)

Too bad i have tuition tonight at 8pm, and Ww finishes school abt 7plus. :(
otherwise we could go out for dinner or something. but then again, in an attempt to save money mayb not. when we were dating we would go out to eat every 8th of the month, though not always on the exact date cos sometimes we have things on that day. i think we've gotten lazy already...or eh..mayb just save money ba.

whatever it is, as much as it is nice to go our for nice dinners together and (my fav) to talk over coffee at nice cafes, it's the time we have together that we cherish lots, it's stuff no amount of money can buy.

i used to read about stories where couples say "i love you" everyday. and i wondered how possible is it to keep saying it, honestly i was quite amazed then. (but then again u wonder how you would greet ppl "gd morning" when you see them, same wat). Yet we do it, say ILU everyday, (i should think so..never really counted). you can only say gd morning in the morning but can say ILU anytime of the day and as many times as you like. the key is about saying 'i love you' is to tell the person with sincerity, to mean what you say, because you can say gd morning without any sincerity, but not with 'i love you'. it has to come from your heart.

Ww dear, I love you! happy anniversary!

Alleby is $1.90!

Yeap so it is..that famed green and long stuffed snake at IKEA is $1.90!!
it was $7.90. i told my sis and in the evening she called me while she was there with her friend and wailed to me that she bought it at $7.90 last week, "Why?!?!!?" oops..it's just luck eh? u never know what ikea decides to put on sale.

now Alleby is part of the mess of stuffed toys at our Klippan sofa. the green works pretty nicely with the sofa. now they seem to be taking over the sofa instead.


there was much lesser stuffed animals around..but after dropping by my mum's place last week, we brought back a big bag of stuffed animals that was always there but which i didn't even bring over to Ww's hse then.
- Stag (that dinosaur in the middle)
- Rover (that red dog on the far right, on the black bear)
- lion (that lion on the far left & looks like the Great Eastern lion logo)
- Mambo Jumbo (the blue elephant which my sis used as a prototype for her home econs stuffed toy proj)
- Melvin (that moose on the right, to accompany Gusto the other moose [it turns out that Gusto is a reindeer...whopps sorry Gusto...WW said i humiliated him on the internet world...haha..oops!] which, Ww gave on Christmas....*someone was asking wat he gave me for Christmas)

meanwhile i'm in a holiday mood still! oops..sorry people..but there's no work and so my gd buddy and i have been going out for lunches, shopping and mani/pedi tmr, and coffee on fri. taitai lifestyle? eh...not really, i wish. but we have time and no money. so..not too fantastic. i'm hoping for work though, but is a 9-6 job that is more stable and good better, or what i am doing now with flexi time and the potential of a good pay better? i do somewhat like what i do now but it's not giving me enough (just a lot of time at times..and no time at other times), if i take a 9-6 job it has potential to be really interesting but i'm not really in it so how can i tell anyway? gosh. i'm still considering (weighing the pros and cons, the opportunity cost), and waiting, praying, hoping.

Suddenly free

2 ppl fly my kite in the today & tmr. so i'm suddenly free....not a very good thing :(

Gosh! what am i gonna do?
~ whip up delicious dinner for Ww? (i'm still puzzled on what to cook...still need planning and thought. i'm not good at just buying & cooking. plus there is no cookable food in the house already, cos we have concluded that all fresh food die of neglect at home)
~ go shopping? (no no no....gotta save money..it's a really tight month..settling all our bills. so no new year clothes, i'll wear clothes that makes you think it's new. or maybe i can try the Zouk flea market...)

and i thought i can resue my Macbook from its hospital..but i didn't bring the form cos i didn't expect my appt to be cancelled today. ohh...i had such a premonition....

i dunno what to do!!!

who do i look like?

according to many people, i look like my mum...altho there are many times i do wish i'm not like her but somehow or rather being married kinda causes your influences from your parents since young to show up more clearly. because Ww will catch some expression or way i do things that seemingly reflects what my mum does. oh dear.

was checking my email and got the subscription from Radiant mag which is one of my fav online & print magazines around.
this article spoke to me deeply as i pondered about my ministry in my workplace and wherever i roam. it quoted the Message translation of Romans 12:1-2 which i recently shared during cell during our last cell of 2006..and which is what we'll be really goona work on.
God reminds me because i always forget. it's easy to remember one time off stuff but when you have to keep doing the same thing (which is to not to conform to the pattern of the world, to live holy-ly, to be renewed in our mind) in a different situation, in a different mood and emotion, you've gotta keep that one thing constant. to keep spending time with Him.

the article is Here.

i like what she writes...
"Lord, help us to be still and dwell in Your presence. Help us to become so connected with You that we reflect more of You and less of ourselves. Your beauty is extravagant. We want to look more like You."

suddenly the week becomes busier after a slow 3 days of the week. how weird. still...

"So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you." —Romans 12:1-2, MSG