still are the days

Quick! i hope this week passes by soon. and somehow this dreary feelin has been with me since monday. i'm looking forward for this feelin to be over. and it's irritating when i need to pass each day with this feeling, yet not knowing how to get rid of it...neither do i know why is it here. it somewhat feels like a crisis or is it?

i go to work and the interest that was there wasn't there anymore. maybe it's also because i don't have much to do so there's isn't much to look forward to. tho today i'm looking forward to today because i was going to go out with my parents old friends from Ireland. though i forgot i had tuition...and oh...i'm looking forward to tmr because there's gonna be a cgl cell and dinner with my parents irish friends. im looking forward to sunday because it's the day to worship God in church with many other christians (and i feel like i haven't been to church for a long time after missing it last week because i was sick)..and because i want to go for christianity and culture sunday school. i realize that these are the things that makes my life meaningful...being in the fellowship of other christians. and being stuck at home is kinda sian. but then back to work on monday and i'm wondering what i can start doing....considering my leads are like making me wait for eternal and i have no more leads. occasionally i'm feelin like i'm not able to do the work..or not up to it, or that i don't have the ability to do as well as others. i don't wish to be so negative but sometimes these thoughts get to me and bring me down.

of cos a wonderful thing always is to spend time with Ww...it's something to look forward as well. we did go to our fav hangout last monday for coffee at pacific cafe at airport T1. it's a rare time we went to airport in the daytime...and isn't too used to the brightness + sun shining at our seat.
and being at the departure hall, we wondered when will we get to go overseas again..esp aftera great time at melbourne last year. while i'll be missing this phuket trip with friends in sep (coz we've gotta save up for our reno...and Ww hinted how can i go without him esp coz it's right smack after the sep hols). ok....i'm looking forward for our europe trip end of next year...but it's more than 365 more days to go. geeez.

i wish i can learn to appreciate the things i have instead on harping on the things i don't. to learn to thank God for the things that He has given and even those that He hasn't. to enjoy being myself instead of wanting to be like others. to remember that God loves me more than i'll ever be able to understand. to understand that nothing happens in my life that first does not get filtered through the hands of God...God is sovereign, and He is in control. and as a result, it's up to me to choose to live my life based upon the truth of who God is and put faith in His Word vs the feelings and circumstances that i may be experiencing. to remember that God has a plan for my life. As a result, what happens is part of that plan, and it is for my good and God's glory.