Waiting

I haven't been in writing of moods much lately...I've lapsed into laziness or the writing bug has not been biting much.

I feel like we're in a waiting mode. Waiting for our future to unravel itself. Ww's waiting for an answer from the uni, then I'm waiting to see whether i need to make mega plans for the short-term or plans for the mid-term.

Then we're waiting for another baby, this we're not sure whether he/she will come. After my ectopic, it seemed like it wasn't that easy as before to conceive. One less fallopian tube makes such a difference or is my body still going through recuperation? It's 1 1/2yrs since it happened. I think it is more that i didn't want the age gap between Eliza and no.2 to be too wide for some strange reason that they won't be close if the age gap is wide. (you can't compare me & my sis with our 10yrs apart, i don't wanna wait 10yrs to have another baby!). Sometimes i feel like i wanna tell God, that if i can't have 3 or more, then 2 is still better than 1.

God sheds some light on His timing, that i needed to settle my periodontal problem before it is safe enough to conceive. My next appointment is in June and it has been postponed cos i was just too busy at work, or that the appointments are fully booked this & next week. Periodontal disease has implications on pregnancy that causes in low-birth weight babies / pre-term babies. So it'll be another 1-2months before it is 'safe' to try.

So in my impatience, God help me to have a patience, to see that there is a time for everything. This is the point where i say, God you're in control, not me.