Today I have been discouraged by the past 3 nights when it was a struggle to get Emily to sleep. I rationalized what is causing her lack of sleep. Is it because she wasn't sleeping enough in the day? Is it because of that 3rd late afternoon nap she took on Thursday and that started the bad nights? Is it a wonder week...as she was learning a lot of new things this week, like sitting up, crawling faster, pulling herself up, trying to cruise, self-feeding etc? It doesn't help that my mil questioned the state of cleaniness of the house. She asked "is it because the house is not clean enough?"...wait the cleaniness of the house is related to her sleep? (maybe..but we have been staying her for half a year already). And she hinted today that i don't clean Emily well enough cos when she was taking care of Eliza she'll wash her bottom every morning, bath her twice a day (i bathe Emily once a day only) etc etc. And that not cleaning enough is causing all the rashes and her eczema. She feels that the carpet is very dirty and Emily crawls on it and it makes her skin worse. (maybe?). Sigh...Wait...we are talking about sleep. I know i'm disgruntled. God forgive me. The last thing i need is to have someone blame Emily's difficulty to sleep on me not taking care of her well enough.
Anyway i have been having a baby who refused to be patted to sleep or her head rubbed or be sung to. She'll push away my hand and scream louder. When i carry her, she arches her back and bends backwards, making it difficult for me to even rock her. I am at a loss. No snuggle? No patting? How else can i calm her down? Thankfully, nursing her does. So out goes the "no nursing to sleep" rule. If it calms her down, i'll take it any day. Maybe she's hungry. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt (even though she just nursed 1 hour ago).
Every baby is different, isn't it? Eliza wasn't a exceptionally easy baby either..but Emily oh...a good challenge to my soul. She helps me turn to God and pray. Pray hard.
And in Manna for Mums devotion today, i read and was encouraged to pray for spiritual things. How could I have forgotten?
"Our prayers tend to be small. Limited. We ask for money to pay the bills, for physical health, or for a new job. Granted, those are all good things, and we should bring these requests to God when they arise. But if all we pray for is physical or material things, we’re missing a huge part of what prayer is supposed to be about.
....
Will you try something with me this week? Let’s ask God to open our eyes to the spiritual blessings we’re missing out on because we don’t ask. Let’s ask Him to show us what kinds of spiritual things we need to be praying about. Then, let’s ask Him to grant us the desire to do so, and the ability to remember to engage in this new habit."
- praying for spiritual wisdom to know what to do when Emily cries / doesn't sleep
- praying for spiritual strength to last the trying moments
- praying for spiritual words to encourage Eliza and guide her when she disobeys
- to be kindness and gentleness in times when she needs my attention but i'm too busy.
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