It's the school holidays! Doesn't affect me as much, and even though it's school holidays for Ww, he still has lots of work to be done. Still there's 1 1/2 days free for us to spend time together....and with his nephews who came to stay for 3 days (or as we thought...it ended up to be 5 1/2 days instead).
While we're ok that they are here, it's not always the most fun. My mil is bished out by not being able to control them as much, and even though their maid came over and there's help with the housework and taking care of them (bath, milk, meals), i think she feels like she has lost her freedom or something. Understandable, when we were prepared for them to stay 3 days only. Why that...some long story which i don't wish to go into.
Maybe they were younger last time, but then again sometimes it's a whole non-stop chatter with them, correcting them, mediating for them, reading with them, disciplining them. I realized that our styles are so different from my in-laws.
Anyway, this week's experience made me reflect on how our family backgrounds, how we raise our kids, and how we treat our kids can make a difference in their lives. I cannot imagine how Eliza will be when she grows up, will she be a well-behaved girl? will she be obedient? will she respect others? will she...?
Some background on Ww's nephews. Their parents were once divorced, they live in an extended family, with their dad's brother's family and their grandma, mainly being taken care of by 2 maids and their grandma while both their parents go out to work. While the parents are out working, there are 6 kids in the household which i guess to do whatever they want. According to what i hear from my SIL while my MIL complains about how rambunctious they are, is that her MIL can play computer games while they 'tear' the house down.
I don't believe that kids should sit quietly all the time. Isn't it good for them to rough it out, play loud and rough at appopriate times. Watching them play with the foam swords is kinda fun, though my MIL kept asking them not to play..which is feel is quite ironic. (how can they not play when it's right that, being the most exciting thing around?)
Anyway...finding the disparity in how our both families raise our kids made me see in reailty how much a difference it makes when we raise them well. Of course, i can't compare Eliza with them cos she's of a different age and a different stage from them. Then again comparing between the 3 of the boys, the eldest who probaby had the most attention and energy from his mum while he was young (their mum went to work after the second one was born), was the most well behaved. It could be that he's older and more 'dong3 shi4' than them, it could be his character. I really don't know...just get a sense that there's a lot that they're missing out, in terms of their guidance at home (there's a sense that there's no 'law' and little discipline other than scoldings and threats), not enough demonstration of love, little family outings or outings at all (our outing to Sentosa was like the once in the blue moon outing).
Ww commented that somehow he feels like it could be better they don't go back..and then unlearn all the things they learnt here (like not using all the nonsense words like calling names and teasing each other about private parts...i overheard the elder one warning the younger one not to use that word 'else jiu4jiu4 scold you').
Then again, we'll be glad when they go home on friday night. Peace will be restored here again.
So i wonder, what will it be like with 2, 3 or more kids?
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