Light-hearted

It's a kinda exciting day. Lotsa things to do that's why. and my first contract signed! that's why i'm feelin so exhilarated. no time to waste ding-dong-ing...so they signed today..also coz we needed to start works soon. wooo. fun! i know that coordinating works can be quite daunting too, as in there are many unexpected things than can crop up. really...so if u have no experience in this don't ever attempt to coordinate yr entire home renovation works on your own. some things have to do first before some other things...and you've gotta be on call at any time. but i guess for me that's the interesting part of it. tho i always feel like i have 101 things to remember to do...ie call this person, ask this thing that thing, check this & that. there's 10001 varities of materials and ways to work with materials so...possibilities are endless.

and the other exciting stuff was that the shelving area for the books was done up today. the carpenter came by early this morning to do it. and it was exciting coz i kinda sketched it on paper, indicated the dimensions, the material and some details...and to see the real thing is exciting. now i juz gotta wait for the electrician to fix up the downlights for that place.

Anyway, sunday's sermon was really refreshing. it was about humility. on area where there's no one better to learn from other than Jesus. "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." Philippians 2:3. we're called to look out for the interests of others. Jesus came and thought of us...if he didn't He would have spared the pain of being separated from God because of our sins. Pastor Jiami was preaching that it's not the pain of the nails, or the whipping, or the insults hurled at him that was painful; it was the sin He bore for us, the judgement and the punishment that He bore for us on the cross that was painful....because of this He has to be separated from God (because God is holy = no sin)...that's the most painful thing He has to endure. somewhat hard to imagine coz we aren't God. maybe it's like humans being separated by death from the person they love deeply, or disowned by someone they love deeply because of something they have done. of cos this analogy is too simplified...God is more complex than that.

it's a good verse...because there are many times i can't help doing somethings out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. u know there's a 'i win' feeling that's obviously feel-good. servant leadership...not just emphasized in church..but in many secular seminars. but true servant leadership isn't i treat u well, and i manage to get my way & earn my money or got you under my control...but the way Jesus did, "Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love." NIV. "having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end." NASB John 13:1b. the way Jesus washed His disciples feet.

i feel so inadequate in expressing what God impressed in me through this sunday's sermon. but He was speaking.

and....on the same day i read about a person who seemed quite oblivous to his lack of...hmm...i'm also not sure how to express. but it lacked the part of "consider others better than yourselves". or more like lacked self-reflection...and full of defensiveness. always ready to put down the person faster, even by quoting bible verses, rather than put down/humble himself. it's quite scary actually, that someone can be so self-righteous. even tho sometimes i dun really know what sin to confess, i know i'm not perfect, i know i have things i need God to help show me the displeasing-God things that i don't want to face...and i have to ask God to show me and break that stubborness. i never ever want to be that kind of self-righteous person.